Time out to reflect

November 1st, a beautiful Friday morning and I was so happy about getting ready to launch 9 exciting workshops that would span the holidays, all the way through to March 8th. Well that Friday evening could not have been more contrary as I was stopped dead in my tracks by a notice posted on the front of my apartment door. I was looking forward to coming home to my comfy space… there it was, stated in bold letters “SIXTY DAY NOTICE TO TERMINATE TENANCY”! What is this! No explanation. I’m confused?

I went into immediate shock and disbelief over this discovery. My girlfriend who lives in the same complex around the corner received the same notice about a month ago, and when she inquired about it to the management they said that the owners want to remodel her apartment. Well I deserved to have more information, and decided I would call them in the morning.

Could it be that they can just post a notice and you have to uproot your whole life! I had just started finding the right places to put up my pictures, got rid of the last of the boxes; feeling stable and secure here in my wonderful little place. I’ve been here one year and a half.

Sophia window watchingMy kitties play outside with the other kitties, and we love watching the peacocks and wild turkeys that come to be fed under the bird feeder that sits under the beautiful tree outside my bedroom window. Sadness filled my heart. And then some anger came flooding through my veins; I’m a good tenant, they can’t treat me this way! This is unjust, callous and unfair!! I was hurt and then fell apart, falling into an abyss of tear filled sadness. I immediately called my sweetheart who consoled and comforted telling me I am not alone in this and that he will be right by my side with me through it all. After that I paced and brainstormed ’til I felt to exhausted and finally fell a sleep at 2:30 am.

Saturday I found myself leaning on my supportive girlfriends, processing this sudden information. And then I called the management, and I was told the owners wanted to remodel my apartment. And I said…just like that? I am being uprooted, having to find a new place to live because the owners want to remodel my apartment? How callous…Well I’m not going to go into that conversation right now.

Sunday I met James, my love, at 10am service. Rev. Ed always enlightens me with the most appropriate talk. It’s truly a beautiful way to start off a week. Later that day, James and I were to attend a trial Turkey dinner infused with good music. I was to bring my guitar and tambourine, and James his drums and harmonica. My lower back started hurting with intensity as the day went on until I realized I was experiencing symptoms of the flu, and had to cancel my dinner date. My resistance must have really gone down with the overwhelming moving news…I was still processing.

What really drew me to my blog this Monday morning was what happened during my breakfast. Across from the dinning room table are the sliding glass doors that open out to that wonderful back yard that I described earlier, with the beautiful tree . While I was eating my breakfast, I looked out and saw the humming bird feeder. I found myself thinking, should I leave it here for the birds or take it with me when I move? I pondered that for a moment and then I saw one of the humming birds come to feed off the feeder… they really like that it’s there for them. Then I thought, well no one will be here to fill up the feeder because there will be remodeling going on here. With that thought, the humming bird left the perch and flew over to the Hummingbirdwindow to look at me, as if to say, I hear you. And I said Oh, can you see me? And then he moved over to where  the door was opened about a foot and just fluttered his wings suspended in mid air, as if to say, I see you and I hear you too, and then he just flew away. I was left with a such a sense of awe and wonder…I will not forget the little miracles around us!

I have made a decision to leave the humming bird feeder, and post my workshops anyway.